Gestures

When I was a kid, I’m ashamed to recall that anyone of Italian decent who wanted to run for political office had to Anglo-size their name, just to get a chance of getting elected. If you’re name ended in a vowel,with the exception of Costello, your political career was doomed. Boston was more or less like Chicago and other major cities; it was run by the Irish.

Fast forward forty years and now you see many of the local elected officials with names ending in vowels – many of the O’s are at the end of a name instead of at the beginning (Menino, Consalvo, Scappicchio, DeMasi, Travaglini, etc.). We even have a couple of Supreme Court Justices whose parentage is of Italian lineage (Scalia, Alito).

I will venture to say that most if not all of these people were exposed to the Italian culture from the day they were born. They were taught first and foremost to get an education and to respect the country that helped many of their grandparents get out of poverty and secondly they were taught to maintain the Italian customs and traditions.

There are many customs and traditions and they vary according to where in Italy your ancestors came from. One thing that is common throughout is the art of communication. There is verbal (shut up, stop, I love you, etc.) and then there is the nonverbal type (a roll of the eyes, a bite of the knuckles, a clasp of the hands, etc.). When you watch two Italians conversing and they combine the verbal and non verbal it’s like watching a conductor leading a symphonic orchestra as they play Vivaldi’s Four Seasons.

Italians have nothing to hide. Watch two men or women converse from a distance and you will get a fairly good idea of what they’re talking about just from the gestures. Some gestures are universal to many languages but some are known only if you’ve been exposed to them previously.

One of the things that has recently been put under a great big spotlight is a form of non verbal communication; the hand gesture. While on the topic of hand gestures, wasn’t Jackie Mason (a Jewish comedian) barred from a TV show years ago for using what was interpreted to be an offensive hand gesture?

The hand gesture that has got everybody in a tizzy is one where all the fingers of the hand are put under your chin and then with chin raised the fingers are flicked forward to the other person (see illustration). In Italian this is used in lieu of the words, me ne frego, I don’t give a damn. This would have been apropos non verbal communication in the film Casablanca (another word with a vowel, ah!) when Bogart says, “Frankly Charlotte, I don’t give a damn!”

I’m glad that the media has been paying so much attention to something Italian but please don’t try to interpret things that you don’t understand. One columnist by the name of Egan has been putting her Irish spin on it. Forgive me, but maybe your name used to be oregano, and you dropped a few letters in order to get a job at an Irish paper.

Why do you use the Sopranos as your source of information? Next time go to a professor of Italian languages or ask anyone from your husband’s side of the family for an explanation. I realize you’re trying to help your newspaper stay afloat – but "give us the facts maam" as Sergeant Friday would say.

Something’s wrong when a newspaper devotes the front page to a hand gesture in light of all the serious problems and issues that confront us each day. GET SERIOUS and leave the jokes to the comedians. I don’t think you’ve sobered up yet from your St. Patrick’s Day festivities.

This gesture is now being sent in response to your article - me ne frego. If you still think it's offensive, so be it.

Enough With Labels

Years ago (back in the 50’s and 60’s) there was a small group of kids that lived in our neighborhood that were called “the bugs.” Mention “the bugs” to anyone and they knew exactly what you meant and who you were talking about. They tended to go off and not socialize or play with us and over time they were called queer.

The adjective queer, meaning strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular, seemed to fit them nicely. The second meaning of queer (of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady) also seemed to fit them at times.

However the other two dictionary definitions of not feeling physically right or well, giddy, faint, or qualmish or mentally unbalanced or deranged, did not fit.

It seemed like no one wanted to call them what they were. They seemed to be afraid of the word homosexual. They were effeminate and unmanly, so they were called queer (not conventional men).

Somewhere along the line there was a gradual change. More and more of these people who were hiding in closets started to “come out.” I thought the term “coming out” was used to describe young prominent ladies when they would be allowed to socialize.

I remember reading about Mr. And Mrs. Peabody’s daughter “coming out” at the annual Debutante Ball. These stories were often found in the Social page(s) of the Sunday newspaper. Many of these young ladies were from well-to-do and well respected families.

Now we have homosexuals “coming out” of closets and changing from queer to gay.

Look up the word gay in the dictionary today and you will find the following definitions/meanings:

1. Having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music. 2. Bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments. 3. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season. 4. Licentious; dissipated; wanton: The baron is a gay old rogue with an eye for the ladies. 5. Homosexual. 6. Of, indicating, or supporting homosexual interests or issues: a gay organization.

I have three dictionaries in my house; the 1927 Webster’s New International Dictionary, the 1947 Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary and the 1968 American Collegiate Dictionary.
All three have a variation of the first four definitions from above yet none have homosexual as a definition.

Why did you have to steal the word gay? I don’t get it.
Why would you want to brand yourselves? Why do you feel that you need a label?
Do you feel inadequate?

“Cast your burden on the Lord,
And he will sustain you:
He will never permit
The righteous to be moved.

But thou, O God, wilt cast them down,
Into the lowest pit;
Men of blood and treachery
Shall not live out half their days.
But I will trust in thee.

-Psalm 55

It's a Business

Patriot’s nation is in shock over the loss of one of their favorite and arguably the most valuable player along with Tom Brady over the past four years. How can they let go such a valuable cog on this team is the prevailing question that’s being asked by fans everywhere.

Listen to the sports talk shows, who along with newspapers profit the most from increased listeners and readers from this story, and you’ll find a group of people who fail to realize that Pro sports has turned into strictly a business. You would think by now after the Bledsoe, Ty Law, Lawyer Malloy, Pedro Martinez, and Johnny Damon etc etc... losses that have occurred in recent years that they would realize that decisions are governed strictly by that bottom line.

These fans that dish out hundreds per game have a misconceived notion that they like shareholders in corporations have a say in how the company in this case the franchise is run. WRONG sucker!! Don’t take it out on the owners. Don’t blame the players. As long as you’re willing to dish out your hard earned money to spend on your entertainment dollar, expect your idols and stars to be shuffled from one team to another just like any other commodity.

Why do you continue to spend hundreds of dollars to buy player shirts and jerseys only to see them rendered useless after the players are let go or choose to sign with other teams? What’s going to happen with all those Damon jerseys that many young girls bought over the past few years? How often have your ticket prices been increased over the past four years?

Profit in business comes from repeat customers, customers that boast about your project or service, and that bring friends with them.

I was an avid sports fan for years but as I get older I find myself losing interest more and more with each passing year. Go back ten, twenty, or thirty years ago and you would find that the stands of any sports venue were filled with a high percentage of working stiffs. Over the years with the advent of luxury boxes the working stiffs have been replaced with corporate types who go to the games as a matter of status. They have driven me (priced me out) away from attending the games and now they are even taking away the ability to watch a few games on regular TV. People that don’t or cannot afford cable are losing the opportunity to see a game.

Why? Answer – It’s a BUSINESS.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. -Will Rogers

Three Years Later in Iraq

Just a reminder to my war mongering neo cons who constantly attack anyone that doesn’t drink their “kool-aid” and quickly label them as liberals;

2300 Americans have lost their lives since that beautifully staged scenario that had Mr. Bush landing on an aircraft carrier announcing “Mission Accomplished.”

Cheney, Rumsfeld et al should go back and revisit the statements they made in the past and see what has been accomplished. Poor planning, poor exit strategies and tunnel vision have made me trust more in gypsy fortune tellers. We would have feared better by following their visions as they looked into their crystal balls. It’s obvious that your proverbial crystal balls were clouded with the almighty buck.

We toppled Saddam’s regime. We destroyed his statue but he still makes a mockery of us. We were dealt that famous deck of cards that will probably be worth millions on eBay twenty years from now but we still haven’t found neither Osama nor the WMDs.

As I stated before, the great Spanish author Cervantes wrote about this current Administration way back when. Don Quixote has come back and now lives as George Bush. The following passage from Don Quixote who at a distance mistakes windmills as enemy giants reminds me of George Bush and his distorted vision of WMDs;

“Fortune is guiding our affairs better than we could have wished, for you see there before you, friend Sancho Panza, some thirty or more lawless giants with whom I mean to do battle. I shall deprive them of their lives, and with the spoils from this encounter we shall begin to enrich ourselves; for this is righteous warfare, and it is a great service to God to remove so accursed a breed from the face of the earth.”

The characters that Cervantes conjured up four hundred years ago have come to life. Don Quixote de La Mancha and his sidekick Sancho Panza have returned to life in George Bush and Dick Cheney. Someone would make a fortune if they would cast these two in those roles with a modern day theme.

What Cervantes wrote was fiction meant to entertain the readers. What Bush and company are writing is reality which will be felt by many for years to come.

God Bless Our Country

Another Weekend - Another Story of Teens Dying Behind the Wheel

I am sick and tired of hearing the phrase “we’re doing it for the children.” What are you doing for the children except blowing hot air out of your behinds?

What are you doing for your children when two out of five deaths among U.S. teens are the result of a motor vehicle crash (CDC 2004)?

Did you all forget when you were young and carefree and what risks you took behind the wheels of daddy’s car? It seems like you forgot or that you don’t want to say NO to your son or daughter or maybe it’s because you’re too busy to drive them somewhere or maybe it’s simply because you want them out of your hair.

www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/03/19/2/

It all comes to light and close to home when over this weekend and it’s not over yet, we read of two horrific crashes involving GREEN drivers (16 – 17 year olds) resulting in disfigurement and two lost lives. As much as they think they’re sophisticated and so grownup, the age of 16 is not a right age for kids to be driving alone or with peers.

We have grownups that don’t take responsibility and make stupid decisions while behind the wheel, how can we expect a 16 or 17 year old to do any better. There’s always that call from the wild that we should increase the minimum driving age whenever a tragedy occurs but then the yelling dies down weeks later and we go back to where we were – waiting for another tragedy to occur.

Based on statistics, your son or daughter would fare better fighting in Iraq that driving that nice SUV that you’ve just put in his/her hands. 5,000 teens aged 16 – 19, died as a result of a motor vehicle accident in 2002.

In 2003, 54% of teen deaths from motor vehicle crashes occurred on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday; 42% occurred between 9 p.m. and 6 a.m. (IIHS 2005

In 2003, 25% of drivers ages 15 to 20 who died in motor vehicle crashes had a BAC of 0.08 g/dl or higher (NHTSA 2004).
o In a national survey conducted in 2003, 30% of teens reported that within the previous month, they had ridden with a driver who had been drinking alcohol. One in eight reported having driven after drinking alcohol within the same one-month period (CDC 2004b).
· In 2003, among teen drivers who were killed in motor vehicle crashes after drinking and driving, 74% were unrestrained (NHTSA 2004b).

Did you forget that first ride you took either by yourself or with friends? The radio blaring the adrenaline pumping as you picked up speed in tune to your favorite song. Not a care in the world. The distractions nowadays are greater. Alcohol, drugs, cell phones, CD players, I pods, satellite radio add to the mix of inexperience behind the wheel and the final product is disfigurement if they’re lucky, if not death.

What are we really doing “for the children?”

Where Are Our Priorities?

Let me start off by saying that I having nothing against animals, but whenever I see a picture of a little boy or girl that is dying from starvation it sickens me to think that we as a society treat our animals much better than human beings.

Here are a few mind-boggling statistics:

According to MarketResearch.com, sales of pet products other than food reached $8.5 billion last year. That's more than the $6.2 billion spent on baby care products.

Bob Vetere, Amer. Pet Products Manufacturers Assoc.: "In fact, if you see a trend in a human product you can almost guarantee that there will be the similar trend for pet products."

He says Americans spend more on dogs than any other kind of pet. Designers like Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Coach now have pet lines, and big stores like Target and Wal-Mart are expanding their offerings.

What is happening to our world when we see an innocent little baby looking like a starved animal and then turn around and see a dog dressed in a Gucci sweater? It’s mind boggling and it’s inhuman. Maybe we should have the dogs running our world; at least they would be more compassionate than some humans.

Here are some other statistics that should open your eyes:

Global Priority - $U.S. Billions

Basic education for everyone in the world - 6
Cosmetics in the United States - 8
Water and sanitation for everyone in the world - 9
Ice cream in Europe - 11
Reproductive health for all women in the world - 12
Perfumes in Europe and the United States - 12
Basic health and nutrition for everyone in the world - 13
Pet foods in Europe and the United States - 17
Business entertainment in Japan - 35
Cigarettes in Europe - 50
Alcoholic drinks in Europe - 105
Narcotics drugs in the world - 400
Military spending in the world - 780


It would seem ironic that the world spends more on things to destroy each other (military) and to destroy ourselves (drugs, alcohol and cigarettes) than on anything else.


· There’s enough on this planet for everyone’s needs but not for everyone’s greed — Mahatma Gandhi

Tell me, what belongs to you?

The Bible provides many wonderful examples of how one should lead their life to achieve eternal salvation.

Today I read the story of a poor man, Lazarus, covered with sores, sitting outside of a rich man’s house hoping to eat some of the crumbs that had fallen from a rich man’s table.

These two men would eventually die. Lazarus was welcomed to heaven while the rich man was castigated to hell. He pleads for help but is denied it because of his greed on earth. He asks that someone be sent to warn his five remaining brothers on earth. He is told that they have the laws of Moses to guide them. If they can’t follow Moses’ laws what would make them listen to anything else? he’s asked.

Look around at today’s world and what do you see? There are many rich and there still exists tremendous amount of poverty – even in a country blessed with the abundance that America has. How many people have read the story above and just passed it off as some fairy tale? If you really stop and think about it, you should come to the conclusion that it’s not a bible story but reality.

Stop and ask yourself the question of, “Who gave you what you have?” If your answer is anything else but God, then go back and continue to live in YOUR bible story.

A monk by the name of St. Basil who lived in the fourth century made the following comments while preaching against wealth:

Tell me, what belongs to you? From whom did you receive everything that you carry through this life? … Did you not come out of your mother’s womb naked? And won’t you also return to the earth naked? (Job 1:21) From whom did you get your present goods? If you answer: by chance, you are an ungodly person who refuses to know his creator and to thank his benefactor. If you agree that you got them from God, then tell me why you received them.

Is God unjust in sharing out unequally the goods that are necessary for life? Why do you have an abundance and that person there is destitute? Is it not solely so that one day you might receive the reward for your kindness and your disinterested management, while the poor person will attain the crown promised to patience?... The bread that you are keeping belongs to the person who is starving; the coat that you are concealing in your trunks belongs to the person who is naked… Thus, you are committing as many injustices as there are people whom you could help.

There are many who have shared their wealth but even there the Bible gives us the story of the widow when asked to give gave a small amount in comparison to the rich person. Jesus pointed out that He valued the small amount that the widow gave much more that what the rich person gave because the small amount the widow gave was taken from what she needed to survive. The larger amount given by the rich person only came from what was superfluous to him.

If we could only learn from this and share with the poor the God given abundance that many of us have.

Where's The Outcry?

Another kidnapped hostage dead and very little outcry. It’s just another piece of meat that has been thrown to the dogs disguised as towel wearing scum of this earth.

How long are we going to sit back and take it? Social Security, the ports being run by an Arab country, Cheney’s hunting mishap, murders of two young women in Aruba and New York, American Idol, and The Sopranos gather more attention than what is continuing to happen to OUR men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Maybe they should have a new reality TV show called America’s Most Wounded to wake us up to the reality of war. We are all doubting Tom’s; we won’t believe it until we see it. This current administration doesn’t want us to see it. They’re afraid to hear that they have made a grave mistake. More people need to see the courage of people such as Tammy Duckworth (pictured above) who lost both legs in the Middle East. May God bless her as she channels her energy in her pursuit for a seat in Congress.

March madness is a term relegated to the upcoming NCAA Basketball Tournament; another diversion from the realism that’s facing 130,000 odd soldiers each day. There should be another form of March madness where the true patriots and leaders of this country rise up and lead a rebellion to put an end to the mess that Cheney and company have put us in.

How can you not get mad when you read about the following?

- 8,000 American soldiers have been SEVERELY injured (many of these would have been killed in earlier wars
- The amputation rate has doubled from previous wars to 6 percent of those injured. Since 2000, the demand for prosthetic services has increased more than 30 percent, and is now funded at $1 billion annually by the Department of Veterans Affairs.
- "What we’re seeing from Afghanistan and Iraq that’s really new to us is the blast injuries: the people, who get hit by one of these homemade bombs, and because of body armor, have survived," said VA spokesman Phil Budahn.

The White House combats these facts with their own spin which many conservatives guzzle down like they were free martinis provided by various lobbyists.

The same group, Progress for America, that spent more than $35 million to help re-elect George W. Bush in 2004 and nearly $10 million advocating the president's second-term agenda last year will soon launch a reported $500,000 TV campaign in Minnesota aimed at boosting public opinion about the war on the eve of the 2006 elections.

It's maddening when you see millions upon millions of dollars being spent to put dummies in office when they could be spent on the thousands that have been maimed for life. That’s the least that could be done for them – but when you don’t see it you don’t believe it.

"Naturally the common people don’t want war……but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country."

This quote is attributed to Hermann Goering one of the principal leaders of Nazi Germany. Read it slowly and see if it doesn’t apply to what is happening now.

A Lenten Reflection

"Ask, and it will be given you; seek,
And you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

This well quoted passage from Matthew 7: 7 tells us what we can receive through prayer

ASK using the prayer given to us by Jesus
ASK our Father who art in heaven
ASK Him to give us this day our daily bread
ASK Him to forgive us our trespasses
ASK Him to lead us not into temptation
ASK Him to deliver us from evil

SEEK the Lord in everyone you encounter
SEEK the Lord so He may be found
SEEK the Lord in all your enemies
SEEK Him out in good times and bad

KNOCK and He’ll give you strength
KNOCK and He’ll shower you with unconditional love
KNOCK and He’ll open the pearly gates
KNOCK and you will see what He has prepared for you

Psalm 37 says:

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
So you will dwell in the land, and enjoy security.
Take delight in the Lord,
And he will give you the desires of your heart.


One cautionary note that must be added is that don’t expect to receive everything you ask for, only the Lord knows what is best for us.

Do not think that you can please God with prayer. You will please God by submitting to Him. Prayer is just a reminder for you of who you are and what the purpose of your life is.

Punks Will Burn

“A homeless man sleeping in a North End park was attacked, doused with lighter fluid, and set on fire by two unidentified men early yesterday, police said.”

This story was the lead on many local TV newscasts last night. This homeless 30 year old man, who seemed to be minding his business and trying to find a spot to sleep in the cold winter night, didn’t deserve to be set on fire, he deserved to be given a helping hand. The two punks who did this, even if they’re not caught will at some point in time know how it feels to burn. They will burn in hell.

Our Lord in today’s Gospel sets out the simple guidelines (see below) for attaining eternal salvation. Not only did the two punks not help the man they encountered they also tried to burn him.



'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." - Matthew 25: 41-46

March is not only for St. Patrick

March has come and with it we observe the Lenten season. As Catholics we are told to fast (no meat) on Ash Wednesday and on Fridays.

In March we have the observance of St. Patrick’s Day which comes on the 17th. Throughout some of the major cities in the US the day is celebrated with an annual parade and merriment consisting of eating and drinking. We witness and join in if we choose in the “wearing of the green.” Corned beef and cabbage is the repast du jour. This year St. Patrick’s Day lands on a Friday, a day of fast (no meat). The last time this happened, the Cardinal gave special dispensation and lifted the fast.

I wonder if the same would have held true if St. Joseph’s day (March 19) landed on a Friday. I doubt it, but there’s no need to worry about it because traditionally the people that celebrated St. Joseph’s day would eat fish respecting the Lenten season.

Two saints whose feast day is only two days apart, yet the notoriety given to one over the other is mind boggling. It seems like St. Patrick benefited from a better public relations firm than St. Joseph. The Irish immigrants made sure that their saint was given the distinction that they thought he deserved.

But what about St. Joseph? It seems that he was always in the background. Not much is mentioned of him in Scriptures yet wasn’t he Jesus’ step father? Wasn’t he the one when hearing that Mary was with child made the decision to stay married to her in a time when most would have left? We hear that angels appeared to him and advised him what to do and he readily obeyed. Wasn’t he there at the birth of Jesus? Wasn’t he there to help them flee to Egypt when Herod ordered the slaughter of each first born son?

Here’s what Pope John Paul II had to say about St. Joseph:

What emanates from the figure of Saint Joseph is faith. Joseph of Nazareth is a "just man" because he totally "lives by faith." He is holy because his faith is truly heroic. Sacred Scripture says little of him. It does not record even one word spoken by Joseph, the carpenter of Nazareth. And yet, even without words, he shows the depth of his faith, his greatness. Saint Joseph is a man of great spirit. He is great in faith, not because he speaks his own words, but above all because he listens to the words of the Living God. He listens in silence. And his heart ceaselessly perseveres in the readiness to accept the Truth contained in the word of the Living God.

Joseph is the patron of the dying because, assuming he died before Jesus' public life, he died with Jesus and Mary close to him, the way we all would like to leave this earth.

So this year when we celebrate St. Patrick’s day let’s not forget about St. Joseph. He should at least be raised to the same pedestal that’s been given to St. Patrick.

You made your bed - sleep in it

As I was driving around yesterday my radio was tuned in on one of those talk shows where people call in for some advice. A young man called up and told how he was in the process of getting a divorce because his wife had committed adultery. During the conversation it became evident that this couple had two young children so the host asked what arrangements had been made as far as the children were concerned.

He confidently said that they had set up a schedule whereby he would have the children for two days then she would have for them two days then they would go back to him for one day and alternate in this manner between the both of them. Immediately upon hearing this, the talk show host snapped back at him and asked him how he would feel if he was one of his children at being bounced around from one parent to the other. What kind of a life had he set up for them?

Needless to say the man didn’t like the answer/advice he got. He was told to do his best to stay in the marriage no matter how he felt and at least pretend for the children’s sake to give them some stability in having a mother and father, instead of the possibility of having two mothers and two fathers and all the confusions and hang-ups that this often leads to.

This is pretty harsh advice for a generation that throws away everything including human life for self gratification. Children are made to pay for many adult mistakes/blunders because not many want to hang in and work at doing what’s best for them. These children get dragged into new families, new siblings, new homes, new schools and are expected to cope and act like normal kids.

No one wants to face responsibility. What happened to, “You made your bed, now sleep in it?” Not only don’t they want to sleep in it, they want to throw it out and get a new one.

Years down the road when that child who is now an adolescent gets in trouble with the law, they should go and get the parent and put them in jail. Marriages from previous generations were not so hunky dory, but the husband and wife gutted out many problems and made it last. They provided stability even in a rocky situation.

People now a day would say that they were stupid. Were they? They were able to get through tougher times even when some of the marriages were prearranged and the byproduct of their cohesion was probably you and me.

Meditate on the following and see if you come up with the conclusion that it’s stupid:

Endeavor to be patient in supporting the defects and infirmities of others, or what kind so ever; because thou also hast many things which others must bear withal.

-Imitation of Christ, Thomas A Kempis