Ask Your Doctor

The more I watch TV the more annoyed I get by commercials. With a few exceptions, such as the funny duck in the AFLAC commercial, most are an insult to the public's intelligence. For me they have the contrary effect in that the dumber they are the less likely it is that I'll buy their product. If they are really obnoxious, I will make it a point of boycotting the product completely.

Drug companies have discovered a pill(s) for just about every ailment under the sun. It used to be that it was almost taboo to mention diarrhea on TV. Now they have undressed us from head to foot and bared all maladies and imperfections for the world to see.

Men, you have trouble performing, no problem, ASK YOUR DOCTOR, he has an assortment of pills for you to take. Once you take it you'll be throwing a football like Tom Brady. Be careful though because you might be stuck throwing that football for four hours. Don't worry call your doctor and he'll give you a copy of episode 67 of Seinfeld where George Costanza tells you all about shrinkage. Now if my grandmother was still around all she would do is take out her wooden spoon and hit it. That's what she used to use on Grandpa any time he would get overly frisky from too much catnip.

My 82 year old mother has recently experienced a problem with her bladder. Every time she sneezes she has to run to the bathroom. Excuse me mom for divulging this. I told her on her next visit we will ASK THE DOCTOR about this embarrassing problem. Of course the doctor had a remedy - guess what? another pill. As she wrote out the Rx she mentioned that one of the common side effects from taking the medication was dry mouth. Wow, the medication couldn't pinpoint what part of the body to dry out. It dried her out down below while at the same time up above. The pharmaceutical giants haven't come up with the antidote to this problem yet so my mother was forced to drink more fluids forcing more fluids for her bladder to handle. By this time I was ready to call on Noah to build his ark.

Thank God I only asked fo a 30 day supply. The medication that didn't provide any relief cost approximately $50.00 and I could see the shareholders of this drug company laughing all the way to the bank.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR about laughing and see what he tells you. There's no money to be made by prescribing laughter but it's probably the best medicine invented. Somewhere along the line, I want to blame President Nixon (aka Tricky Dick), someone started a movement to suppress laughter. Just look at the steady increase of anti depressants prescribed over the years. Why? ASK YOU DOCTOR they are the ones pushing this stuff.

LAUGHTER is the best medicine! Maybe doctors should practice telling jokes instead of pushing prozac. We could use more doctors like Dr. Vinnie Boombatz.

Texas Attorney: Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Medical Witness: A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.


Why did the blonde stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
It said 'concentrate'

A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great fervor. "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
The congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the wine in the world,I'd take it and throw it in the river."
The congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the whiskey and demon rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river."
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"
The preacher sat down.
The deacon stood up. "For our closing hymn," he announced, "let us turn to page 126 and sing, 'We shall gather at the river'."

He who laughs ...lasts!