Being Retired

I had the option at the age of 55, to take my pension. Some people say that I retired. For many the notion of being retired sounds good and many look forward to the day when they can retire, especially after having a stressful day at work. It’s nice to wake up in the morning and realize that you don’t have to be a slave to a clock or a regimented schedule any longer. It’s even nicer on those cold winter mornings, when even polar bears wouldn’t venture out. Just make yourself a second cup of coffee and relax and stay warm. It’s nice to have the option of staying in bed a little longer since you don’t have be somewhere at 5 or 6 or whatever o’clock.

The only problem I have with retirement is with the word itself. Even saying retired brings thoughts of a re-tread, to go off, go away, withdraw, leave, be put out to pasture, and put to bed. Maybe it’s the word tired that I have a problem with, and to be RE tired sounds like I’m pooped out all over again. It’s quite the contrary. I don’t feel tired because I’m not stressed by trying to do my job in a bureaucratic and militaristic environment. I’m not stressed by having to deal with and having to be directed by people who just like to flaunt their authority. I’m not stressed by having to bear witness to some worthy candidate being overlooked for promotion at the expense of some archaic and unfair affirmative action program and then having to watch them rely on the person who was not given the job.

I think of being retired as having new wheels – re tired. With the new wheels, I can now venture off and do some things I like without the fear that I might suffer a blowout. Some people ask, what do you all day now that you’re retired? I have been retired for three years and 4 months and have not been bored one day. I’ve taken a part time job driving a van which brings me in touch with people from many walks of life. I’ve volunteered my services at church and feel rewarded by giving of my time and I have a busy schedule at home caring for and elderly mother, a sick wife and three boys who are all still living at home.

I realize that there’s a fear to being retired. When I was younger, I used to be amazed and wondered why people who had worked 35 and even 40 years were still coming to work. I asked one of my employees who was retirement eligible why people at his stage seem to have such a hard time making a decision to retire and he answered, “It’s like making a decision to get married.” I realized that it was a commitment and maybe also a fear of the unknown. Sad to say, this man only lasted a short time after retiring and didn’t really get to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

What are some of the fears? I’ve often heard of the “honeydew” syndrome. That’s especially prevalent in men who retire to a home that has a stay at home wife. The retirement honeymoon lasts a short period and then the wife can’t stand to see her husband loafing around and comes up with many honey do projects. She’s not used to having someone around all day upsetting her long standing routine. Every day it’s, honey do this and honey do that and finally they start getting under each other’s skin.

If you’re wife is still working and you retire, you can expect to be checked on constantly. You’ll get calls from her throughout the day asking you what you’re doing, reminding you of things that you should be doing and asking what you’re going to make for supper. One of the things you’ll often hear is, “By the way, do you think you could..?” When you hear these words immediately break into the conversation otherwise you will have another task to do.

The other scenario is that people start taking advantage of you. You become a very valuable resource especially as a chauffer. Aunt Mary needs to go to the Chiropodist and has no one to give her a ride so you get called to take her. You automatically become the emergency contact person to your five grandchildren in the event of a problem at school. Even your neighbors take advantage of the situation. They ask if you can be around between 10 to 2 o’clock because that’s when their new mattress is going to be delivered and so you graciously take the keys of the house and wait for the delivery. I was on the fourth hole putting for a double bogie (what else) when my friend’s cell phone went off. After he finished the call he had come to the realization why his daughter’s had given him the cell phone as a Father’s day gift. It was to make sure that he could be readily reached wherever he was. I continued playing the rest of the nine holes by myself because he had to respond to an emergency at his daughter’s house.

If you live near or around family and are retired, you will never be bored. My wife’s brother-in-law, who because of the nature of his job spent little time in raising his kids, is now raising two grandchildren because of the necessity of two people working in a family to make ends meet. I’m amazed at the transformation in this former construction worker who had never changed a diaper in his life and is now doing it every day. I see a man who would never be caught dead pushing a baby carriage because to him it was unmanly now cheerfully parading his grandson in a stroller.

If you are a retired guy, I suggest that you move to Japan, this way you become the pain in the butt. A story in Sunday’s Washington Post, Sick of Their Husbands in Graying Japan, caught my eye. It seems that there’s a stress disorder that has been diagnosed in many women there after their husband retire. It’s become so prevalent that it’s even got a name, Retired Husband Syndrome, RHS. It has caused the divorce rate to double for people over 60 years of age

The two page article is found at:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/16/AR2005101601145_2.html

When I’m asked about what I do with my time now that I’m retired, I can now also say that I write.

May the Lord see that you approach your retirement in good spiritual, physical and mental health.