Only Boys

As I look at my boys, ages 28, 25, and 23, I can't help but think of the boys that are involved in the war in Afghanistan and Iraq. A lot of these boys are much younger than mine. A lot of them have not reached their 20th birthday and I swallow hard in saying that some of them will never see it. I can't help but think that a higher number have suffered life altering injuries (loss of limb, loss of sight, etc.). I can't help but think of how many have been damaged psychologically, damages they will live with the rest of their lives.

A lot of these boys, albeit entering the service willingly, never realized they were going to be involved in the horrors and brutality of war. They had a myriad of reasons for joining. My middle boy joined after a recruiter approached him in school and sold him all the upsides that the military had to offer. He joined when he was 20 and served 3 years fortunately all being state side. Some of his friends did go to Iraq, but for whatever reason he was spared. He is not out of the woods yet, for he can be called back at any time.

My oldest boy who is 28 has been in the National Guard for two years. He just said goodbye this past weekend to a group from his unit as they left for Iraq, I wonder how many he will see return. He is also susceptible to being called up at any time. My boys are no longer boys in comparison to the ones like Specialist Olander who I read about recently in the NY Times.

He was 19 when he joined. What appealed to him was college money plus it was something he wanted to do ever since he was a kid - be in the Army. When he left, he had mixed feelings about going to Iraq, but he wasn't particularly upset. He didn't dwell on the possibility of getting killed or wounded. And he gave no thought at all to the spiritual or psychological toll that combat can take. "I was very confident in my training and I was very religious," he said. "I'd always read Bible stories as a child and I believed the Lord would look over me and his will would be done."

Most of these boys are doing the job they trained for and will follow whatever orders they are given. They are proud to serve and some even though severely wounded when interviewed all say that they want to go back to finish the job. There's such a comraderie that they're always thinking of their fellow soldiers.

Reading about SPC Olander you can feel some of the pain he is feeling today. Here's an excerpt from the NY Times article;

He is filled with guilt. Several of his friends have been killed, and he thinks he could have done something to save the gunner who died. "I felt it may have been my fault that it happened," he said. "Maybe I could have handled the situation differently."

He is also filled with turbulent emotions related to the insurgents that he killed. "I had no hesitation about pulling the trigger," he said. "But the aftermath is what hurt. Before I joined the military, I valued life very much, so taking it was hard. It's confusing trying to figure it out, you know, because sometimes I feel rage toward them.

"But then it becomes a very religious thing, because I wonder, you know, since I've taken these lives, if I'm going to be accepted into heaven. You know, have I done the right thing?"
Specialist Olander is being treated for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center here. He expects to head back to Waynesburg in a few weeks, where he'll stay for a while in a trailer that sits in a campground "out in the middle of nowhere."

Boys forced to be men overnight, forced to grow up in a matter of minutes. I don't think any of the training they went through ever got them ready for the psychological impacts of dealing with such harshness and cruelty. He'll probably get over the physical scars, but the emotional scars will probably never heal.

The soldiers don't question why they are there, they just follow orders and do what they're told. But the question that has been hanging in the air is, Why are we fighting this war? The second question is, Why don't we all have some equal stake in the outcome? Why should only a small percentage of the population suffer and grieve while the rest go about their business as if we're only dealing with a little brush fire?

Here are part of the lyrics from the song War:

War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! It's got one friend, that's the undertaker
War has shattered many a young mans dreams
Made him disabled bitter and mean
Life is much to precious to spend fighting wars these days
War can't give life, it can only take it away

War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
Peace Love and Understanding;
tell me, is there no place for them today?
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But Lord knows there's got to be a better way

History is supposed to teach us a lesson, but we always end up making the same mistakes. Mistakes that take many loved ones away from us.
Some people get to rest and vacation at Crawford, Texas for five weeks while many are dying thousands of miles away.

Nero fiddled, while Rome burned.