ME Before WE - Roger Clemen's Rule

Many in Red Sox Nation complained when ace pitcher Pedro Martinez was treated differently than the average player on the team and many fans hate Barry Bonds for his self-centeredness, yet not many complain about the shenanigans of one, Roger Clemens.

John Shea in the San Francisco Chronicle points out that,

People never forget Bonds' past. With Clemens, it's as if the goofy stuff got deleted from his bio. Rubbing eye black under his eyes, then getting ejected in the second inning in the 1990 ALCS finale in Oakland, as if he wanted no part of another Dave Stewart beating. Beaning Mike Piazza, then throwing a broken bat at him, ridiculously suggesting at the time that he thought the bat was the ball.
Promising to drill Bonds, then doing it. Getting summoned for a steroid test after Team USA's final game in the World Baseball Classic, then ducking the media altogether except to release a statement, saying, "For me, right now, it's goodbye," and not explaining what he meant.

He has made himself the focal point for the last two or three months in at least four cities, Boston, New York, Houston and Arlington, by stating that these were the four places where he would play if he returned to pitch for one more time. Don’t get me wrong, I think that he’s one of the top ten pitchers I’ve seen in my fifty years of following baseball and I’m not knocking what he does on the field. I just don’t like the way he’s dangled fans from four cities and played on their emotions knowing full well that he was signing with the Astros all along.

He along with the Rolling Stones is exploiting the fact that there’s been a decline in talent in their respective field of entertainment and are reaping the rewards well after their prime. Roger has now taken more curtain calls than the star diva at La Scala. He’s made a mockery of the term “it’s not over until the fat lady sings,” because the fat lady keeps coming back. How many farewell tours does he want to be given?

He’s coming back on his terms they said. It’s interesting to see how one player out of a team of twenty-five is given so much attention. He’ll get his old number (22) back and a matching contract of $22,000,022, which when it’s pro-rated for the remainder of the season it will be around $12.6 million. The number 22 is also significant in that he’s played for 22 seasons and he’s decided to make his return on the 22nd of June.

If all goes well he will probably make 18 starts for Houston and the Astros will allow Roger to show up only when he pitches or whenever he decides to show up. Imagine if the Red Sox told Manny not to show up when he didn’t start? Not even prima donna, Barry Bonds gets to stay home on those days he doesn’t start.



Just think of the frenzy that would have surrounded Fenway if Roger chose to return to the Red Sox. If Doug Mirabelli, a second string catcher, was welcomed as Caesar was on his return to Rome after a victorious battle, how would Dr. Charles Steinberg market Roger’s return to the nouveuax – riche fiefdom that is now Fenway?

Just think Dr. Charles you could have had a cell phone night with Roger by issuing Rocket cell phones to all who purchased tickets costing $222. You could have had a K night with, Koby, Kory, Kacy, and Kody in attendance. Oh the possibilities that were missed. Did you ever think of bringing back Spaceman Lee? He’s still in great shape and I’m sure he could give the Red Sox some situational relief stints for a much more reasonable price. What the heck, if Mike Myers can pitch to one batter per appearance what makes you think that Bill Lee couldn’t do the same.

It’s not my father’s baseball anymore. It’s a happening. It’s all about seeing yourself on the Jumbotron or on TV. It’s all about being seen at Fenway and not seeing what’s in Fenway. It’s all about corporations. It’s become very expensive watching millionaires play a kid’s game. Let’s now get ready to watch the Clemens 2006 Return K Tour.

“Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio….?”