Red Sox TurbuNation

Red Sox Nation is reaching for the panic button this morning. After sixty – odd days of being in first place, our so called “athletic” millionaires have been overtaken by Gotham’s reviled rivals.

A few months ago, the fanatical fans were contemplating the pitching rotation for the playoffs. A few weeks ago they were pushing Ortiz for the AL MVP; everything was hunky dory. They even sent out invitations to a Yankee Elimination Party. Now they are ready to give  Francona, Foulke, Ramirez, Renteria or the next escape goat du jour, a ticket on the next Fung Wah bus to wherever.

Red Sox Nation, just like Dorothy and the gang, was skipping along the yellow brick road. They have just lost their way and have entered the forest (out of playoff contention). Now they are no longer skipping, they have to start running as fast as possible and get to the Wizard before the end of this month. They are singing, ‘Yankees and Indians and Angels, oh my!”

In the Red Sox version of the Wizard of Oz, Terry Francona plays the part of Dorothy. He encounters a Scarecrow (Manny) a nice guy with a knack for producing runs who lacks brains. Where the original scarecrow was afraid of a lighted match, Manny is afraid to hustle for fear of pulling his hammys.

The Tin Man (Johnny Damon) soon joined up with them. He was afraid of the rain and needed to carry an oil can in the event that he should get rusty. Damon has recently had the twenty-first century’s version of oil (Cortisone injection) twice administered to his rusty and ailing shoulder.

Tito has recently had to deal with his version of the cowardly Lion in the form of Keith Foulke. Foulke is the one who should be striking fear into the hearts of all the batters but he just doesn’t have it. He lacks the courage of being the team’s stopper.

In this story the munchkins are all ready to come out to Fenway Park, Red Sox Nation’s version of Emerald City. They are keeping an eye out for that Wicked Witch, played by George Steinbrenner, and are ready to root him out of existence.

Stay tuned as these four meet up with the likes of the Big Unit, leader of the Fighting Trees and an assortment of bad characters such as The Chef, The Moose, A-Rod and Matsui all led by Derek of the Jeter.

Will Dorothy and her friends reach the Wizard and get all things righted before their encounter with the Yankees? Hang in there YAHOOS. Let’s see how the story plays out.